just a little flying machine

on groupon (a mailing list with great deals), i found a coupon for 1/2 off a flying lesson. the idea appealed to me, and as it was less than $100, i got it. last week i decided to use it while the weather was still nice. j went with me. we drove to this tiny airport and miraculously got in through the gate (it would take me forever to describe the hassle this process took). we found the bunker and parked, being guided in by the man i'd had to call to help us.

we waited a half hour before we were helped as it was a small facility. one guy sitting in the tiny office seemed to be harassing the poor kid who was our instructor.

'should i go get you something to eat?'
'what time are you off?'
'you want me to get you a burger?'
'what are your plans afterward?'
x100.

the poor kid seemed to try to brush him off, but the guy was very persistent.

so this kid (he didn't look older than 17) pulled J and i upstairs and walked us through the parts of the plane using a tiny hand-held model. he then had me sit in a mock cockpit and went over the switches. and that was it. a ten-minutes prep before i took my husband's life in my hands.a quick stop to a green toilet (that had to be charged, looked like it belonged in outer space and made all sorts of strange and terrible gurgling noises) and we were heading out to the tarmac. the kid showed me the tiny plane we'd be using and again went over the body parts.
we checked the gas, looked at the wheels and wings, then before i knew it, i was settled into the pilot seat and strapping on my belt. this became the most terrifying experience of my life. to summarize J, i thought we were going to die. J later said (as he sat behind me in the passenger's seat) he kept reaching forward to try to grab the wheel or in some way save himself. on the other hand, it was also the most exhilarating experience (and it needs to be said- not many husbands would place their lives in their wives' hands). i thought our kid instructor would fly letting me be his 'big assistant' or at the least, keep the controls covered at all times.this was so not the case. in fact, i don't think he touched the controls at all.

first i had to get the plane moving. when it's on the ground, you control the plane using the foot pedals, which controlled the wheels. i forgot this at one point, and J practically screamed when the plane started kareening toward the grass and i yanked on the wheel by accident. i got us straightened out, though, and we made our way around the runway.
we lined up-
then it was our turn to take off.

we accelerated and like magic, the plane left the ground. the instructor had me aim for the horizon and we were off, climbing higher and higher. every 3 seconds i would think: if the plane fell out of the sky at THIS height, would we survive? what about now? and what about now? J softly whimpered behind me (actually, he didn't make a sound but i knew he was doing it in his mind) as the instructor had me turn left... then right. i was so gentle (a.k.a. terrified) that i could have run a mile on the treadmill before i finished banking. i managed to not be ill, which i think my instructor took as an offense as he asked if i'd let him make a much sharper turn. i said no, as i was already feeling ill. then he asked if he could show me how to mke a pencil float by suddenly dropping the plane- i think J was a little disappointed i said no to that as well- 'as long as HE did it,' he'd later say.

we flew over our home then turned back.
the descent was even worse than the ascent.my stomach was in my throat the entire time as i tried to come down gently. regardless- intentionally aiming myself toward the earth was much different than away. i panicked a little every time i dipped below the horizon, which was OFTEN as i tried to land. J said this terrified him the most, but i inched my way downward, fighitng the turbulance until we hit ground and we taxied back in.
holy hannah- it's a miracle we're still alive.

my wedding adventure. (photos below courtesy of tim hass, picture-taker extraordinaire)

let me back up a second. our wedding photographer, being the great guy he was, decided to take photos of me and my bridesmaid dressed in our wedding finery up on Rainier. this was one of the Best Things Ever because to know me is to know my love for that mountain. so friday morning K, Skittles, J and i got into pa's truck and headed up to Rainier. J met up with Skittle's stepma and pa while we 3 girls took over a family restroom in the new (uglier) visitor's center and changed into our dresses. it was the first time i'd been completely tied into the dress and the corset made me feel claustrophobic. it didn't help that people banged on the door every 2 minutes, wanting our fantastic corner of the world. we were already feeling a mite shameless as we'd had to beg for a parking spot near the inn as the lots were full and the closest parking was 2 miles down the road.

we were to meet the photographer, Steve, at 2 pm. he was an hour late (due to heavy tourist traffic and terrible parking availability) which wouldn't have been so bad, but i was in a wedding dress. and i don't particularly like being the center of attention. the 2 together made for a very disagreeable combination. i was quite uncomfortable with all those eyes on me. people kept approaching me- some telling me how nice i looked, others laughing and asking if the groom had stood me up. i avoided eye contact as much as possible, more likely saving my ego but hurting feelings along the way. self preservation at all costs, right? J and Skittle's folks had rejoined us and were scouring the parking lots to find him. at last Steve arrived, J went to the inn to listen to his Zune and the others came to help.

being a model was exhausting. Steve had a lot of locations for us to go to, and we'd be in the same location with a variety of poses. partway through i told him i could feel my skin sizzling, but he'd found so many great spots, we carried on regardless. notable: getting kindly reprimanded for stepping off the trail behind the visitor's center, and also going to Christine Falls, my favourite locale.

Steve had also found a pretty little waterfall which he had me stand next to barefoot so it wouldn't be so slippery. i asked if he'd take photos of K and Skittles next to the fall as well, and i moved toward where Steve pointed. sadly, i didn't hear him warn me about the muddy bits and i couldn't see around my big dress, so i stepped on a patch of slickness, slipped on my butt, and started sliding toward the water. i was able to stop myself with my feet, but before i could stand, Steve jumped over the bush and planted himself right in the middle of my dress doing 2 things:
-pushing me down toward the water again, being held away from the edge by his bootly anchor
-leaving a large muddy boot print in the middle of my dress.

so very sad. but he thought he was saving my life, and that, above all else, was the kindest thing anyone had done for me.

but the poor dress. we also (at the end of the photos) went hiking into the woods where he had me pose and sit among thorns and thistles. the payoff was brilliant. if fact, the images are here:
http://hsh-photography.com/Clients/Joe_Danielle/Wedding_Photos/index.htm
he had a great eye, and of course i couldn't be mad about the dress as he'd made the gesture to save my life, to keep me from slipping off into the falls. yet- the dress.

Steve followed us back to the house. J and Skittle's folks had already taken off and given ma a head's up re: the dress. K called her to confirm. by the time we got home, ma had a team gathered to clean the dress bit by blessed bit. it took them hours.

of course i was sunburned. i'd gambled and lost. the women gathered there became a flurry of aloe and lavender, and the burn reduced. poor Steve had to overhear many versions of the boot story as everyone wanted to know what happened. J's family as well as mine gathered from the far corners of the earth and met for a barbecue and rehearsal dinner. J's best man and his wife were there as well, and it was a goodly yet productive gathering.

saturday- up early. there was a flurry of activity at the house, and of course there were nails and hair and make-up. the temperature reached an uncharacteristic 92 degrees, so we sweated through the preparations. at 5pm, my bridesmaids and i put up balloons and got back at 5.30pm. of course ma was panicked because i needed to get cinched into that corset. we managed to dress, despite a plethora of door knockings and disruptions.

finally i was dressed and everyone was outside. pa waited for me by the back door and then walked me down the aisle to canon in d. cheesy? perhaps. but it was my kind o' cheese.

the entire walk down (which felt like an eternity) i kept thinking: "is it too late to back out now? what about now?" if pa hadn't been on one of my arms anchoring me down, i don't know what i would have done. my stomach was a flutter of nerves, but i looked ahead, forced a smile on my lips, and saw J up there, all grins. i felt much better a) knowing he was at the end of that aisle and b) knowing he was probably as nervous as i was.
i finally made it to where J waited for me. and what are the first words he says when he meets his wife-to-be?

"didn't i see you in the never-ending story?" (yet i personally loved the tiara, and i think i looked smashing in it).

my uncle officiated, we had our readings, and the ceremony went fine, despite our inability to figure out which finger the rings belonged on. we kept switching them throughout the ceremony, as those around us tried to get our attention to switch yet again.
















we had a receiving line and it was so lovely getting to meet friends and family i hadn't seen in forever. i wish i could have prolonged that for hours- we didn't get much chance to mingle after dinner as of course there were photos and things to take care of. but oh, how i loved having all those wonderful people there. tim (the photographer whose lovely photos grace this blog) took many candid shots, my face twisted into various conversations that have now been encapsulated in those images. so fantastic.











after the receiving line, J and i went inside- i stripped off that horrible girdle, tights, and boots to put on a pair of white flip-flops. he and i then snuck around to the back and ran through the banner my brother and his wife had made.
he and i cut the cake, ate dinner, gave an irish toast with the mead Skittle's stepma had made us, then snuck out front for photos.



(photos of family below)








we then had our first dances (after the first couple's dance, J threw me over his shoulder and carted me away) while some of the folk blew bubbles at us. then the bouquet and garter toss. the band came on, and it was dark enough for the tiki torches. magical.

i have to say, ma and her pals put on one fantastic show. the wedding was beautiful from the first to the last, and that was due entirely to her efforts and those who contributed. it was memorable, and made more so by those who took photos for us so that we could keep those memories.


what a brilliant day.

on wednesday, K and Skittles took me on a bachelorette adventure. J had leaked that K and he were pitching in together, which i thought meant we were going paragliding, as the parents had bought her a pass for her birthday. K asked and i told her my guess and she informed me i was wrong.

wednesday morning pa dropped Skittles and i off at K's work. her kid showed us his classroom and pa took him- and we climbed into K's car, which had been decorated by Skittle's stepma for our little extravaganza.

en route to wherever we were going, K told me we were going bungee-jumping. immediately, i felt nauseous, and had K pull over as my stomach struggled with that info. i ran into the nearest fast food joint to deal with much sudden durchfall. i was so nervous. not once did i plot on how to get out of doing it- that was the plan, so i was going to go along with it, not matter how much it terrified me.
K let me deal with my upset bowels for 2 hours. oh, the cruelty! 2 minutes away from our destination, she let me know we were actually going paragliding instead. what a world of difference! J asked me later why i was able to skydive but not bungee-jump. very simple. skydiving did not require me to jump off a cliff head-first, relying on a slim nylon cord to keep me from crashing into the earth. plus, once you reach as far as you're going to go, you sort of bob up and down for a bit of time. ugh.
so we made it to the paragliding place and met our instructor in this building filled with harnasses suspended from the ceiling. it was fun bobbing up and down while we chatted.
we got some training, signed our life away,
then headed out for our adventure. we were too late to hike to our destination, so we had to meet up with a packed truck to drive us up to the top. we also got to hike in about a mile carrying our parachutes in these huge mushroom packs on our backs.
about an hour traveling, we finally arrive at our destination. a huge cliff overlooking a loake, city, trees- crazy gorgeous view. we had 3 men with us- our tandems. there was a very attractive ecuadorian, the spacey yet kind owner, and an older guy who was uncomfortably flirtatious with me, despite knowing i was engaged. flirtatious guy jumped off first, so i had Skittles go with him- i couldn't stomach the thought of him putting them moves on me when i couldn't escape. my gift to K was letting her go with the hot guy (her later complaint was that he didn't speak any English).
so Skittles went first. so funny- she screamed as they jumped off.
i thought K was going next, but her ecuadorian wanted to jump up higher. that left me. my guy told me my job was to run as hard as i could. when he gave me the go-ahead, i did- but the wind was strong and i couldn't go anywhere. then the wind picked me up and i was running in the air. he kept yelling at me to run, so i did, even though i wasn't touching the ground. finally i got a good couple steps on the ground and we were airborne.there wasn't that freefall rush, but we sort of glided into the air. the view was of course breathtaking and we skimmed the trees, almost touching them with our toes. we were able to stay in the air over a half hour due to the wind and updrafts. my guide would find one, spin us up through the air, and i'd become nauseous. finally i had to beg him to stop, and we drifted peaceful.
we'd float over to Skittles who was doing spirals with her crazy guy, and then K who was filming everything (that later got erased by her little guy).we finally drifted toward the ground. i opted for a butt landing, as the standing sounded too difficult.

when we got there, the family was waiting for us- B, ma, Skittle's stepma and K (ma's cousin). pa and Skittle's pa were on their way to pick up J at the airport. i guess M and C, friends of ours, had hiked all the way to our jumping off point (a 2 hour hike) only to miss us by a matter of minutes.
another adventure survived.

We left at 7.30am on a Saturday. Of course J was running late. He likes to think I'm always the one who drags my feet.
We get to the site late, but still before the group we were to meet up with. We gathered then went into a little room to watch a video. The video just explained the paperwork we'd signed regarding wavers for liability. One of the girls from our group panicked and dropped out. Bad timing on her part: you get a full refund if you change your mind before watching the video and signing paperwork, 50% after, 25% if you suit up, and 0% if you get on the plane.
J and I met our respective jump instructors- mine was a supernice, touchy guy named Dave. We boarded the plane. As we got higher in the air, my heart and stomach stayed on the ground, my courage shrinking the higher we climbed. J looked like he was made of stone and his tandem guy had to keep poking him to make sure he was still alive. We finally got to the perfect altitude (Scary High) and one tandem group left then we were up. One of the guys offered to jump with me and before I knew it, I was rocking at the edge of the plane. If I didn't have someone attached to me, I would have been too paralyzed to move.
The world was so tiny below me and all of a sudden I was falling, my tandem having pushed us away from the plane, and I couldn't breathe with the wind blowing the air out of my lungs. I tried to curve my body into that weird banana shape I'd been told to make but it was difficult as I couldn't breathe. I couldn't even look at the ground. I was too busy trying to suck air into my lungs.
Finally my tandem pulled the cord and the harness yanked my crotch and that was a new painful sensation to think about. The other guy was floating near me and he waved- a friendly face so high in the sky was such a relief- The view was breathtaking (although not as literally as the few moments before).

At last my tandem man yanked on the rip cord and the harness jerked me upward as the parachute opened, and I got to concentrate on the pain in my crotch for the entire drift down. It was a stunning panorama. I was handed the steering mechanisms, and it was exciting to control such a vehicle with just a tiny tug of one hand.
Amazing.
And by the way, I have finally developed motion sickness. Very bad timing.